The following is a reading of my Moon sign, Moon in Taurus.

Some of it seems relevant, some not so much... But I definately find it interesting.

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As far as service - the factors I mentioned before, you have the following in no particular order of severity or importance:

1. Neptune in 12 House
Your fantasies involve pure surrender, giving up ego identity to become one with larger universes within and beyond the ordinary self. When you dream-waking or sleeping-you dissolve into a realm where control and will have no meaning.

2. Saturn in 7th House
You want cooperation deeply, but you fear being abused, and worse, you worry that you actually deserve mistreatment for unknown flaws of character. Why would others want to cooperate with you, especially the powerful father figures to whom you are attracted? There are two pitfalls: first, you may bend so far in accommodation that you harm yourself; or second, you may so fear rejection that you refuse to negotiate with a coldly defensive posture. Remember that just because your partner wins, you don't have to lose. The challenge is to learn that you can be in unresolved negotiations safely. You're correct to be cautious in negotiations, but your ambition to achieve full cooperation won't go away; you just have to work at it.

Moon in 5th House, conscious persona
The 5th house is an area of active radiance and conscious behavior-life as a stage with the ego as star. The Moon is a psychological function of responsive caretaking and habit-oriented behaviors. How can you be the star in what is-by definition-a supporting role? How can you be conscious and unconscious at the same time? You often adopt a role coming from childhood imprints, especially those surrounding protection. The pitfall is overly self-centered nurturing-seeing others as needy when in reality it is you who has the need-the need to give, to feel necessary and important. The challenge is to make these emotions as conscious as possible, and to respond in a way that offers others what they truly require. Give boldly, but only when it is requested.

romance, giving love
You're drawn to courtship like a moth to a flame. It is one of the basic necessities of life, like food and shelter. Love is more automatic than conscious, more a product of habit than an intentional pattern of action. Even desire is to some extent automatic. Characteristically, your romances are based on security-yours, your beloved's, or more likely, both. If there's one pitfall to watch out for, it's the syndrome mentioned above: fostering neediness to create an artificial sense of dependency on your strong, capable shoulders. The challenge is to nourish your beloved, but to do so in a way that promotes healthy, independent adulthood.

sexual performance
This is the placement of "mother-as-lover" (or vice versa), and it carries with it all the complications implied in such a melding of roles. Sexual activity is seen as food to quell inward hungers. But since your sexuality is responsive in nature, you often have to manipulate your beloved to initiate the contact. The sexual tone is emotional, lodged more in feelings than physicality, and you are rarely happier than when sexuality is ongoing. You judge your performance by how "full" your partner feels. Literal fertility is more emphasized here than in other placements. The challenge is to respond in appropriate sexual ways, without creating the pitfalls of co-dependency, and to fulfill your personal needs for security through warm and moist sexual expression.

personal creativity
Creativity is second nature to you. However, it does tend to be somewhat more synthetic than original, in that it emerges out of the stockpile of everything you've ever absorbed. This is not to suggest that there is anything invalid about what you create, but rather to emphasize that the act is aided by processes occurring beneath the level of your conscious awareness. If you have children, much of your creativity will likely be directed toward their upbringing, and while this may be somewhat more emphasized if you are a woman and a mother, it is still a strong likelihood even if you are male.

competition
You need to be competitive, and yet the whole notion of risk is antithetical to the Moon's basic function of security and self-protection. Paradoxically, you can only protect yourself by continuing to risk your ego. The Moon shows how a person stays fluid and well-fed, and here that method involves stepping beyond the ordinary boundaries of self, out into the world, onto fields of battle or play. However, your caretaking can both obscure and complicate the natural competitiveness of the placement. As a result, you often support others by challenging them, and this may or may not succeed.

4. Chiron in Aries
Aries is the sign of selfhood and with Chiron here the sense of self may be weakened. Sometimes the person feels as if they don't exist and have to take their sense of identity from others.

5. Part of Fortune in Virgo
Part of Fortune in Virgo is perfect joy and happiness is found in service.

6. THE NORTH NODE IN THE 11TH HOUSE
This is the quest the Karmic Demand and Urge to learn to serve in humility. You need to let go of all that is possessive and passionate and personal in order to carry out the Command Intention of detached service to humanity

<*smile*> and I could go on :)

Astrology is just a tool.. both we as individuals and the planets
experience the same influences in synchronisity. Astrology just
allows us to exactly place the influences and interactions so we can
see if the myths and itereactions do or do not apply.

You called me precious, your princess, your baby girl... You stroked my hair with gentle and strong hands. I was so at ease, so at peace, sitting on your floor with my head resting in your lap, feeling your heat, your gentle touch, your murmering whispers. With you, though, I was just as comfortable when you used your hard voice, demanding I stop doing the dishes and undress, right there in the kitchen, drop to my knees and fuck you with my face, your hands invariably tangling into my hair...

You saw into my heart and read my soul; brought me home, nurtured me, tended to me, cared for me, offered me the moon, showed me the stars. I loved being your pet. I never once mistook your soft and quiet tenderness for any lack of strength--your dominance is carried in your eyes, as much as anywhere. Bright warm eyes that glisten with a teasing grin, backed by the sheer will and force of an atomic bomb. Intoxicating. A year later now, nearly to the day, as I sit writing this, wondering where you are, how you have fared; remembering your eyes, your touch, your smell...still makes me inhale sharply and sends a cold thin shiver through me.

When we knotted that nylon rope into a nine tail; when you showed me how, and let me pick the length and melt the ends with the flame, when we created it together, it made us one in that space and time. When you touched me with it, it made me one with you, connected us so deeply that the barely swelling pink lines across my skin only hinted at the depth of the bonding that occurred; muted and faded, merely translucent teasing hints of the course and depth of your energy as I felt it stirring across my skin, inside of me, through me; drifting into my head, my heart, my veins, my sex. You made me ache in the most delicious ways.

When you tried to collar me; when I objected and pouted and could not be consoled, and you removed it in exchange for the thin gold chain, I knew you were simply too good to be true. When you petted me and told me it was ok, and that I didn't need a leash, because I stayed at your side all on my own, and that was better anyhow; I glowed in a sence of feeling ok with the way I was. You made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Your atavistic biting, and pulling at my hair; your uninhibited demanding that I pay attention to your stare.

Memories come crashing through me; of riding in your car, the smell of the leather interior, listening to your music and feeling your beat, feeling your hand on my thigh. Memories of the slapping noises of your crops, and oh my god, that pig slapper!... So loud, and such a tease. Warm skin-melting memories that were just enough of a taste to make me know how so terribly much more I wanted... An introductory paragraph to an encyclopedic novel; an appetizer sampling of a menu the length of the bible.

My devious and distrustful nature got the very best of me; I am mischeif, I am joy, I am a whirlwind tragedy, begging on all fours, I am light, and I am trouble with a capital T, I am just a gurl, deep inside of me. I just didn't trust, couldn't trust you. I couldn't close my eyes to the lies that you told to me. Oh, I wanted to look away, but akin to the deer caught in the headlights, I was terrifyingly glued to knowing the truth, seeing the reality in it's cold black and white contrasts. The fantasy was nicer, my ferocious lover; and I'm sorry that I looked at the blueprints, and sorrier that I led you to show them to me... Wishing that we had gone to see the horses before you let me go.

I suppose I was getting pretty tired of being told that I was a 'wanna be' (because while i'm perfectly happy to do it as part of a scene, it makes me giggle to call someone Sir with every sentence exchanged in instant messages.) Oh no, not Gor--ack!!! (smile) This girl finds that unappealing fo' sure.

I got dumped and stood up by two different people on Wednesday, one I've been dating off and on for two years, and a new friend I met recently who just didn't ever show up or get in touch. Yah, so then I came here to chat and ran into a whole buncha' fuckers that were really insecure with themselves, and weren't interested in having real conversations that had any substance; and I suppose all of it together brought out my own insecurity--which is silly, and this morning I sat down with my coffee and read your message, and it reminded me of how retarded it is for me to give a flip about any of them; or what they think about me. *giggles* I'm too bright for silly games and it takes some substance to win this girl's heart (thus consent).

Therein perhaps lies the crux of my problem... I want to have my cake and to eat it too, I suppose. I am smart, but skewed, warped, twisted, cracked in places...you get the picture. I guess I am looking for someone who can appreciate and match my strong personality, without getting run over by me, but also without fracturing the good in me. (I'm sensitive,and I want to stay that way?) Since I really think sex is justa' part of any relationship, albeit an important part, all kinks aside--I'm not sure that I would be wise to limit it down and goso far as to say I want a daddy dom or really any specific "category" of man, I hate being so... limiting... Besides, I'm just not attracted to men my father's age. =P

I definately know that I want some sort of difference between play time and real life, though the two do definately seep into each other, and should on occassion. =) Just as I can't call someone Sir with every sentence I speak to him, I couldn't defer my own decision making prowess for every moment of my day. I'm really not too into public sceening, though I suppose were I to find a man that was, I'd probably learn to cope. =) But it's role playing to me--the scene... It's real, yes, in a manufactured outlet. Not that that's a problem for me; but it is the way I feel.

Ya, so I'm rather used to getting my way--but I am also entirely aware that my way isn't always the best way--and it sure would be nice to have a partner who also recognized this, and was able to DO something about it. I know. I ask for a lot. (See why the nunery is alluring? Too bad I "live for" agnosticism! ROFL)

Although I hate stereo typing, I've found that it seems many "vanilla" men are absolutely too soft--products of our culture telling men that they aren't allowed to be men, imho--but regardless of why this is the case, if I want it, they want me to have it, good or bad for me. Also recognizing that in the same way I say most men are too soft, I'd also say that I'm too bossy and pushy, because of that same cultural environment forcing women to be less feminine than their nature. The degenderization of Americans is heartbreaking. Our culture tries to merge us, rather than celebrating our differences, and the result seems to be one that is detrimental to both sexes, and most relationships.

The thing is, I do want dangerous things! (Oh, yes I do!) I also want things that sometimes, someone should say No! to. But when they do say no, the minute I pout about it, they invariably give-in and let me have it. /sigh That doesn't help either of us, any! (Especially because later he will become angry for having given in, and it is always somehow MY fault--topping from the bottom again.) We both knew it shouldn't be and neither of us was strong enough to stop it from being anyway? What's with that?! Someone needs to be able to make a final decision. I really just wish it weren't always just me having to be the one to make it...

Sure, I am a bit of a brat, at times, isn't everyone? It's the pushing and giving that defines the relationship, I think, and I guess I'm just looking for someone who's stronger than I am in that tug-of-war game, and only lets me win when there's no harm in doing so, which of course dictates that he's good at making that decision in a moments' notice. (Because he has a crystal ball up his ass, right?)

I guess I came to this community in the hopes that there might just be some regular kinda guy, who happens to like rough sex & fosters a safe environment for it, has a good head on his shoulders, the strength of character to do what he knows is the right thing (even when it's the hard thing and I'm pouting about it), loads of patience and kindness, a healthy serving of sadism, ridiculous amounts of perserverance and conviction, energy and philosophical views... Silly of this girl to think he was more likely to be here than anywhere else, but who knows, perhaps planets will align for me. =) You know, you're one smart cookie.

So I've been told recently--by my best friend--that I am the quintessential Pacific Northwest girl. I come from the age of grunge and rebellion, punk bands in people's garages, and Kurt Cobain; and although a part of me thinks that having attained quintessential NW status is a most delightful and inspiring compliment, part of me still wants to rebell against being the quintessential--anything!Sadly, my basic facts do sort of single me out into that classification.

I drive a Jeep Cherokee... I put the engine in it myself. It's only bumper sticker is a political statement about nothing having been accomplished (the word "mission" crossed out in red and the word "nothing" scribbled in).

I have a black lab named Orion, we try to go swimming at least three times a week. Sometimes I drag my son along, he can throw the ball farther than I can, but would most often prefer to play Everquest.

I own and can use by myself all the camping gear I would need to walk out of my house tomorrow and have no return date in mind. I could do it broke and be only a little bit worried. ...And hiking boots with steel toes--they're in my trunk. I can start my own fire, cook yummy food on it, and sleep through the rain. Ok, I admit it... so once in a while strange animal growls and crunching in the bushes give me a little blair witchy creep... And snakes still make me gurgle and scream. Very girly. Very silly. I pick up garbage--litter and litterbugs really annoy me.

I like to make jam and I can my own peaches, it makes me feel like I've done something natural and something right. There is no way picking raspberries and then turning them into jam could ever possibly be wrong. I'd grow them myself if I could afford to live somewhere condusive. I put a peach pit in each jar of my brandied peaches, because my great-grandmother said they're better that way and I believe her with every ounce of my being. I sewed the tank top I'm wearing in my profile myself, early August, that picture was taken a few days later at Hagg Lake, where Orion was swimming that day. It's SW of Portland. I've never owned or worn anything red before (except on Holidays), but I love it. =) Practically lived in it for the month of August. hehe.

When my life feels like I am not growing, I do something about it. Not always the right thing--but I have an inner need to experience, and an inability to be stagnant. My aspiration is compassion. If I am here for any reason at all--that would be it. I am not certain exactly what I even mean--but if it makes any sence at all, my purpose, in one way or another, is to continue learning and developing ways to be compassionate.

I'm currently working for the Parks and Rec department, and feeling as though this last major twist I've taken on my path has many lush and fruitful diversions to offer--if I only had a better sence of which path to take! Alluring, this life is.